More than a Year of


Growing up, I was the oldest. My brother is nearly 6 years younger than me and my sister is 13 years my junior. While I was the typical annoying older sister to my brother, I was like a second mother to my sister. I changed her diapers, bottle fed her, cleaned up puke in the early morning hours when my parents were out of town… I was more of a mother figure, and still am, than an older sibling. Ever since she was born, I’ve been mistaken as her mom at school events, around her friends, and so on. As a teenager, I thought it was funny. I even took some pride in being seen as her surrogate mom at times. Even though our actual mother is an amazing woman, I felt like a mini mommy to this kiddo. I was told at a very young age I had a strong motherly instinct and would make a great mom one day.

But when I was 19 years old, I was diagnosed with PCOS. For those of you who don’t know what this is, it basically means that my hormones don’t communicate like they should. This leads to irregular and more painful than normal periods. Lovely side effects of this also include easy weight gain, unwanted hair, and a slue of other problems. I remember receiving the phone call from my doctor while I was driving to Fort Wayne for a summer internship. I broke down in tears after they hung up, fearful that I would never become a mom. After my next doctor’s visit, she assured me that I could still get pregnant, but that it just might take more effort than the average person.

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